Nucho's Musings

Whim-bul-dun, Mid-dull-tun, Whim-bul-dun, Mid-dull-tun

2011-08-12T00:46:00.000-07:00

Not much to say about this one, after a decade that has been overwhelmed with the William sisters, Fed-ex and Rafa; we finally had some upsets this year. The year the Eastern Europeans conquered the world (of tennis) with their impressive forehands, backhands, ace grunting and incessant mugging.

And while the Checz is more wide-eyed graciousness,

the Serb's more of a shock and awe man.Having only heard of the greats being "Pippa'd" on their big day,

Djokovic decided to take no chances at all; first threw raquets out in hopes of knocking her out

and then ate some grass.

So much speculation as to why

1) He wanted to keep a part of the court with him forever, until "nature" took it away from him.
2) He's batshit crazy
3) It was his day and he didn't want to be Pippa'd

Ummm, she wasn't in the crowd that day dude, but HEY everyone's only talking about you! so yaee #WINNING

Muhahahahaha, MUHAHAHAHAHAHA

Side note:: The Duchess of Cambridge is an excellent sport, not only did she NOT banish her sister to a tower after she had "Pippa'd" her at HER OWN ROYAL WEDDING!

but she also took part in the mexican wave, whilst remaining ladylike, unlike her husband!* (BOO)

Bush jr.: The photo Bomber

Andy Murray unless you can start growing facial hair like real men, I feel you need to be demoted to the Boy's Singles Competitions. 'Coz if you're not man enough to do better than those dead baby ferrets on your face, you're not man enough to be competiting in the Men's Single Competitions.

Andy Murray: A series in unfortunate grooming choices

Disclaimer: pictures are not being reproduced for commerical purposes

IPL '11: Rewards and Punishments

2011-07-23T03:09:00.000-07:00

At some point during our higher education we've all read, heard of or been taught Skinner's experiments on the effects of rewards and punishment on behavioural development. The IPL '11 was a very expensive, larger than life experiment with REAL PEOPLE! (ok cynics and anthropologists will say all of life is an experiment with "real people", but I say shhhhh to them, pffft)

Here are some startling discoveries.

1) People like personalised gifts. I mean most people got those trophies and cheques, but the man who got chocolates from The Psychic (he so totally knew!) is the man who walked away with the biggest, shinniest trophy of them all


I've got a chocolate for you

2) Embarrassment and humiliation are top-tier performance enhancing tools (unlike steroids). And so the RR geniuses in their infinite wisdom deemed nothing more E&H than having to lug around the doll with the most original name DOLLY, when they displayed bad behaviour; like tackling a team official for performing his job objectively, or showing up late to practise.

meet DOLLY

Either way E&H = Enhanced Performance. However harrassing an official = "RETIREMENT". But HEY! atleast he discovered something truly magical that would change his life forever.

TWEEZERS!

And Liz Hurley, but whateves.

3) Money makes the world go round and ain't no shame in pimping yourself out if the PRICE IS RIGHT!

Dale Steyn

I however am offended. Deccan Land is land of Rich Nizam Babus. They paid rs 5.52 crores to get you to bowl 4 x 6 x 14 = 336 legal deliveries at batsmen. Can't you afford to pay for your own GODDAMN shoes?! Us desis take this Honour business very seriously.

*side note: Rags to riches story boy he is. Begged for his first pair of shoes from Polly, all is forgiven, but humaree IZZAT!!

4) Speaking of poverty being the greatest motivator of all. We end with the most entertaining team of all of IPL '11; RCB. No they aren't poor, I'm pretty sure their financial backing via the Kingfisher estate is pretty hefty (no fat jokes please)

Does this ring make me look fat? Nope you do that all on your own!

But they did manage to land Gayle after a tiff with WICB over money trumping all nationalist priorities and his arrival revamped his entire team (like any good Indian Soap). they intimidated the crap out of everyone else, scared them into playing like amatuers thrown into the deep end and they had so muich fun doing it. Gayle and Kohli developed what can most accurately be described as a Fresh Prince & DJ Jazz level of friendship,

the partys were legendary

and the kareoke off the charts.

It's the kind of bonding that got them to the finals. However since part of Gayle's soul still resided with him

Only Half-Evil

And their captain had been on some sort of Amish retreat and failed to recieve his chocolate, they ultimately lost. They're still awesome.

*Image sources: Google
.gif image however are personal property and original creations, screen grabs from youtube.com/indiatimes

Torres Dos

2011-07-13T05:32:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago* I came across this article, mostly about how Torres was gonna take up some seriously bad-ass spanish sacrificing ritual to break his dry spell.

NO not that, THIS

For those of you too lazy to google this yourself and read, here's a summary. He was gonna take a goat, make it crap on both ends of the FOOTBALL FIELD i.e. and then eat it. The goat, not the crap (ewww guys, you're gross)

Quick: think cute puppies!

Let's punch some holes in this story shall we?

1) These grounds take millions of monies to be built and ain't nobody crapping on those unless you paid for them to be built

May I interest you in one of these instead?

2) So lets assume they do LET him perform the ritual; they're probably going to make him pick up right after (it's the law people!). So would that render the ceremony moot?

See! it says so on the board

3) So they let him do the crapping business and let the crap stay there. If that does happen, no goalkeepers' gonna want to stand there.

OH! I get it now! thaaat's how you break the dry spell.

No need to Bitch face me ok? Lets be civil

But it does expose your entire team to being annhilated by the opposition or does an own goal also serve his purpose? Man if monies can't buy loyalties, then this is not a world I want to live in.

its ok, here are some puppies

My solution to his problem has always been simple and I've been charting the evolution of his hair through the course of his stay at Stamford Bridge and I must say the day he scored; his hair had never looked better in blue.

guess which one he managed to score in?

Chelsea + Torres fan from around the world will agree that he should hold on to that look for dear life and also make it rain more often with his voodoo powers. If he can't, I've read Peter Jackson's short of a hobbit.

el hobbit (its fate)

* Some confessions: This blog as you will see from its timeline should've been published in April '11, but hey innit awesome that pre-season kick offs have made this somewhat relevant again (I'm delusional, I'm aware of this)
The article upon which this blog post is based was an April Fools Day prank. People seriously if only you made the effort to read it for yourselves.

Pre-season training pictures of Torres with hair worse than ever (sad face)

Season's doomed already

Notice the difference in hair when he plays at Wycombe and how it affects his score sheet

Glorious HAIR! AMEN

*All images via Google and ChelseasFC.com

I say Zenith, you say

2011-04-29T02:59:00.000-07:00

"Zenith se meri kul jama punjee: aik Twilight kee copy, aik t-shirt jisne ub lelee hai the "coveted" position of my night suit ensemble, aik name tag, chund naye dost, cravings for Hot n Spicy, a better understanding with the parents, aur itni yaadein that they threaten to overwhelm me." I know my "bestie" is going to believe I'm being melodramatic, but its been a highlight for me this experience at zenith.

This blog shouldve been published two years ago, but I'm a very dedicated procasinator if nothing else. Anyhow, since my first outing at Zenith, they've come a long way from what I've heard. 3 consecutively improved showings which promise more entertainment and edutainment to follow.

Remember what they say about the dark side: ALWAYS the ones with the cookies

Listen as graduated students we're pretty jaded to begin with and while most people sat in awe of what was being presented to us; my friend and I sat in awe of how these people were in awe of pure bullcrap. Not to discount the hardwork and effort that goes into arranging such mamoth events, but when one of your Alum is a guest speaker and they ask you to make paper planes to signify your dreams that you want to chase, the line between metaphorical and literal has just morphed into absurd. Full disclosure, this happened at an IBA event, not CBM's Zenith (atleast not that I've heard of).

Yes you did!! You don't need to hide your face though

The only thing you really learn from these events is how much of yourself you're willing to put out. Whether its for a friend who's gonna ditch you the next day (sorry Omar), but then fight her way back (hey, Omar) or if its the people who're working with you day and night, often being thanklessly overlooked (much like real world corporate shenanigans). You'll remember the moments between the speeches and the presentations, when those boys danced on stage or the play that got cancelled because it was too scandolous or that time when your friend's friend's girlfriend took a very personal squabble public on stage (it was AWESOME).

But mostly you'll remember how NOONE in CBM (once again full disclosure; none of the people present in the working committee more like) knew how to work a simple Windows Movie Maker =p

I still love you guys though.

DLF IPL: Adventures in Story-Telling (RCB vs KKR)

2011-04-29T01:51:00.000-07:00

Listen I get that once Pakistan bowed out of the WC in the semis most of my people lost whatever fleeting interest they had in cricket.

But since my life has currently been looking like this

WTF is in her hand??

The IPL helps me knock off a few hours off my day and while most of the entertainment is random, fleeting and subjective.

Like how Ishan Sharma's a Bipolar Simba

Or how RCB is planning world dominantion

He's only a Medium Bad right now, since neither the Cat positioning nor Hair (or lack thereof) have reached full potential

Sometimes all the "hardwork" pays off and you end up witnessing more than just cricket, its...[Insert your own lame/emotionally inspirational word here (mine's SPORT)]

BACKGROUND

Match 24 RCB vs KKR

On paper both teams are pretty strong, and while KKR finally seems to be finding its footing sans Ganguly; RCB are still struggling this season. And it may have someting to do with their captain suffering from a bum knee like me

though not quite the overall bum like me

But then Lady Luck smiled upon them; Gayle having not been selected to play the WI/Pak series (WHY?) was free to join RCB and man! what an enterance he made. His batting pretty much ensured that KKR were never in the game, EVER! It'd became more about how Gayle made his debut in the IPL '11 with a century and thats when things got interesting.

The numbers explain the expression, see how many you pick out

And as hard as Kohli would try, every single he hit turned into a boundary. So he began to look a tad bit uncomfortable. Why though? we ask.

You're hitting fours, your team's winning, why do you look like your about to shit your pants?

Is it because you forgot to put on F&L?

NO, well maybe. Guess we'll never really know, but it was mostly because this had happened.

Kohli being the honorable gentleman that he is decided to block all the remaining balls he'd face to give Gayle the chance to make his century. But then my newest favorite Little Wonder (everyone remember's that show right?) Iqbal Abdullah, bowled a wide ball.

Dude seriously?! Do you have a death wish!!!

Just one run left. By this time I was kinda hoping he'd bowl another illegal delivery just to fuck with Kohli and Gayle, but that poor kid's barely clearing 5 feet here. David and Goliath were more evenly matched.

How many times have you seen a batsmen thank a bowler for bowling a legal delivery??

Final over, 1 run to win and someone decides to pass their number on to a very tense Sidharth Mallya.

Nope false alarm, they wanted Depika's autograph. Maybe they've heard his ridiculous accent, but then hasn't she????

First ball, Gayle hits a boundary; securing the most important goal: KKR winning. Nope, not correct; getting his century.

Both Iqbal and Kohli finally began breathing again, since their death sentence was off.

SEE: Happy Endings (excuse me, focus on the scoreboard please!)

Side note: I really love these Kingfisher ads, so much fun.

Who gets your vote for MVP (Most Valued Partier)? I think Dale Steyn seems to be having a whole lot of fun no?

Fernando Torres

2011-02-12T01:55:00.000-08:00

Listen, nobody can blame Torres for his miserable performance last weekend. I mean look at the poor guy, blue is clearly not his color

And now a nifty moustache too

But clearly none of their fashion sense.

Good, nay! Great fashion

And all the nice, fashionable residents/supporters of Liverpool (FC) were courteously pointing it out to him. They weren't chanting "boo"s because he switched teams. They were pointing out that he's commited a major fashion faux pas

Look at these people! They clearly know their fashion...

The man clearly needs to be warmly welcomed into the Blues' "Circle of Love" ( because sometimes 50 mil isn't warm enough)

Dousing it with love only makes it burn faster, not warmer

And what's warmer than a makeover?

Don't let the expression fool you

EVERYBODY GETS A MAKEOVER!!!

Except for Marouane Fellaini.

Look at all the awards he's won for his awesome hair

I digress.

Back to Makeover Central. I first tried this sham website that promised the perfect makeover if Torres viz a viz his stylist viz a viz me, answered a few questions. Sure, why not?

Pictured: LIES!!!

With so many good-looking celebrities out there, how come these two scaries are the best representatives of these skin tones for men. =s


Which skin tone are you; Gene Frenkle or Attention Whore?

I was torn between face shapes, but Clooneys smile did me in...


It made Keanu sad, obviously

And after answering a whole list of very useless questions, which lead me to believe i was heading down the wrong path [ its this OCD thing with me, HAVE to finish what is started]

Screaming at the screen did not yield desired results =s

Blah Blabity Blah number of clickings later, I finally clicked "Suggest Hairstyles"

Cue an 80's music montage...

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TAYLOR HICKS???!!!!!!!!!!

Clearly NOT working out...

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

2009-07-06T14:41:00.000-07:00

As the second week of July begins, I've begun to accept the inevitable reality of my life. A reality that was pretty easy to compartmentalize for over fours years, and has become one of the longest runnings jokes amongst everyone who knows me... The answer to the question, When are you getting married? To be honest, I still don't know for sure. Though I think its been narrowed down to the next three months... While my life has come crashing down to a stand still, my entire class has since pretty much moved on... From marriages to work projects, further studies and a few lucky ones have begun their careers as well.. What do I have to show for the past two months since graduation? A name tag from Zenith, a few more pounds of fat gained and a smattering of shattered dreams.. (I'm looking at you Girls Futsal Team!) The last academic year for me was the greatest by far, I've never been much of an extra ciricular kind of a person, but this year I first got to make a documentary about Javed Iqbal with fellow blogger Sidrat Asim and Saad Halim... It taught me a lot about myself and my friends...mostly the fact that creators are unobjectively (I hope that's a word) possessive of their work...and criticism is hard to get used to...But like Verona said "Don't let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve what you want" I still do date am extremly proud of what we accomplished..even if the judges failed to see it...
Secondly I got to make an advertisement for an inter university competition held at IBA...as students of business administration we're not expected to be creative art directors, but to be able to showcase our talents and ability to understand and manage brands...well that's part of it, but more important was the fact that I got to do it with my closest friends...we had a blast doing it..and winning second prize was probably the icing on the cake...we've all since moved on...but I can only hope that when and if we do meet up...I want to be able to recapture those times we had...
I know that only the rare lucky ones get to keep their school/university friends for life..so for all of you who've stayed in touch..I love you and for all of those who tried but failed...I'm sorry, I should've been a better friend...for the rest fo us..let's hope we're the rare lucky ones... :)

New York, New York

2009-07-02T14:43:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my friends and I were able to agree upon the same movie to go watch at the cinema..I got cheated out of Star Trek and Terminator...but we all agreed we wanted to check out New York, the latest Aditya Chopra, Yash Raj production...The trailers looked slick and the movie promised to be somewhat of a step towards a more serious, thought-provoking material from a more commercial production house...Even the people who had seen it were raving about how amazing the movie was, "go watch it now!" "Bring tissues along, real tear jerker!" said people's facebook and twitter status updates... I was hoping to be wowed..sadly I was sorely disappointed...and let me say that it wasn't a solitary reaction...people left early..those who stuck around came out of the cinema shaking their heads...
For a movie who's usp is the religion of its main protagonist, it pretty non-denominational...and that isn't a bad thing..what our protagonist want is their dignity back and religion is not a factor in that argument...so it works...but the arguments and justifications for the actions of both parties, the FBI and our protagonists lack conviction or for that matter any logic at all...my friend reminded me of how much I hated Ghajini when I was watching it in the cinema, but have since come to love the movie...but where Ghajini celebrates and enjoys how over-the-top it is (which is what I love most about it anyway) New York wants to be taken seriously, but belief in faulty logic and leaps of faith across the Grand Canyon are required for that to work,so I think I can safely say my opinion of it is unlikely to change...
All four actors shine in parts with the roles they've been assigned, but for me Jon Abraham steals the show, he has evolved immensly as an actor and once again manages to showcase his poise and composure and temprament...No credit should be taken away from the rest of the cast either...Katrina does a splendid job, though I believe her character was not done justice in the movie, both Neil and Irfan light up the screen with their chemistry (did anyone else feel the gay vibes in that relationship :p)...another charater that shone for me was Zilgai, the actor portraying him was brilliant, controlled and hysterical simultaneously..mad props...
I think the writer and director failed the actors and characters...Maybe it was the quest to make it more commercial that did them in, or as a commercial creative unit they did not have the ability to pull off what should have been a more well crafted movie...

Reasons to watch the movie: good, nay great acting
Interesting dialogue, except when they try and preach
Excellent music

For a better script and direction I suggest people go back and watch Khuda ke Liye or even United 93

revisited

2009-06-02T13:21:00.000-07:00

I ended up watching Imran Khans debut film, Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na again a few days back. Reviewing films or just generally even talking about them with friends falls in 3 categories for me...They are a) fantastic and the joy should be shared with the world, b) they are a crime against art and people must be warned or finally c) you just don't understand what all the fuss is about and you need your beliefs and opions reaffirmed...For me this movie falls under the third category..maybe I'm just being harsh because this is an Amir Khan production and yet so unlike it...from Lagaan to Taare Zameen Pe, his movies have carried some sort of message; of hope, self confidence and belief in one's self and maybe this is where I'm wrong once again..what carries more hope than a young love's triumph against all odds..maybe what I mean to say is, that this movie carries no social message...but then again he's the uber-producer who has made a career out of making the correct decisions...while launching a child actor, he protrayed him as sensitive and endearing, someone who the mothers wanted to hide away and protect from the world, someone who the children would be inspired by...When producing a movie that would kick start the career of his newphew, he knew exactly what Imran needed; Ranbhir already had the "smokin hot" area covered and the rest of the newbies were trying the off-beat route that led John Abraham to success...The place for India's sweetheart was wide open..JTYJN showcases Imran as a sensitive boy, charming and loving..A coming of age story where he finally "mans up" for the girl he loves..The basic premise of the story is simple and if you ask the cynics, done to the death, but it is not stale...The characters are well defined, by the second half of the movie their actions can be predicted and that's only because you feel like you know them so well...The humour is fresh, the director approaches the film with wit...I do however have a problem with the casting of some of the minor characters...though the idea is to make the movie slightly more realistic, it reminds me of a line from the movie She's The Man; "girls with asses like mine, don't date guys with faces like yours". It is the rare movie that leaves you feeling all Fuzzy inside, where you want lillies to just spontaneously bloom and you want to skip stones across a big expanse of water..JTYJN does that..for about half an hour..and then after that though the warm fuzzy feeling still lingers, the memory of the movie fades away..I mean of course the cute boy got the bubbly girl in the end and they were happy, but the sweet ending must make place for something else in the brain..it for me is not a moment I want crystallized in my memory,I'm ok letting it go..If that's the movie I had wanted to watch I wouldn't have been so disappointed, but with Amir Khan's productions I want more...I want my ending; i.e. the ending that makes you want to switch places with the heroine...like I want Pam and Jim's proposal to be mine, like I want Logan and Veronica's first kiss to be mine, I don't want Tom and Jerry's ending to be mine and that's where the movie fails me...

Keep your expectations to a minimal and you shall not be disappointed...I think I'll wait for the next Amir Khan movie to be blown away...

reimagination

2009-05-27T13:27:00.000-07:00

So I just finished watching p.s I love you.I'm of the philosophy that you must always always read the book before you watch the movie..always always..which is why Breakfast at Tifanny's is still un-watched;it's book currently being hunted.It's the reason I haven't read Sex and the City.It gives away the ending.I hate spoilers, but I drift.P.S I Love You;the book was pretty lame, the characters I thought weren't as well defined as they should be; the protagonist had me banging my head against the wall. She was only marginally better than Bella from twilight, and she's quiet the friggin piss off, but the movie...its reviews weren't spectacular. They said the book was way better...if that was so I really had no expectations from it all. Again I must compare it to Twilight..but where twilight follows the book religiously ps I love you has reimagined the story..some of the characters have been sidelined given less face time to develop the protaganists story more..the main potentail love interest has been reduced to blubbering idiot who thinks tourettes is the rudeness disease and is the man who turns two women gay..why wud any woman even bother after that?I can't decide if reimagining the book made movie better or was it just as mediocre as the book..I won't say it was worse..but this I know for sure..critics cannot CANNOT be trusted..

One more thing I have decided I shall not share my real feelings abt any piece of art now..ppls opinions about my own have made me question my sanity..and taste of course..it might be hard to continue a blog like this..I might change my mind soon...

Ooh barca won!!!yaeee

the internship

2008-05-29T01:02:00.000-07:00

ok so this is going to be the lamest blog post ever...coz ive run out of words and as most of y'all know ive told this story to everyone almost a hundered times already..but since i need to be productive..this is my first blog...

im bored..my boss hates me loves misba boss..it so simple..thats why its so complicated!!! (david ogilvy)..his place..thats where im interning